The non-inevitability of hell: Not all “negative” NDEs are all that negative
03 Monday Dec 2012
Written by Nan Bush in Uncategorized
As important as I believe it is to poke deeply into the relationship between religion and near-death and similar experiences, as we’ve been doing of late, I’m taking this post to go back to basics. Just what is a “distressing NDE” and does having one inevitably involve an encounter with hell?
What are we talking about? There are psychological events which are experienced as an encounter beyond physical existence. Being close to death is a fairly reliable trigger for this kind of happening, which has led to the term “near-death experience.” In actuality, nearly identical events occur under a wide variety of circumstances, including people who are in no danger of dying. The events may be called spiritually transformative experiences (STE), extraordinary human experiences (EHE), mystical experiences, religious or conversion experiences, or near-death experiences (NDE). however, because of its familiarity, I use the term “NDE” to apply broadly rather than exclusively. Yes, that is, strictly speaking, inaccurate; however, it’s efficient. Bear with me for the sake of word count!
What all these terms share is a range of uncannily powerful experiences in which an individual may perceive what seems to be a visible reality beyond the physical world, or in which the person’s ordinary sense of reality is shattered by a sudden and overwhelming new comprehension of how things work, often by an encounter with transcendence. Interpreted as physical reality, these are often described as visits to heaven or hell.
Pleasant or harrowing, psychotherapist Alex Lukeman has described this kind of instant revelation as bringing “the destruction of traditional and habitual patterns of perception and understanding, including religious belief structures and socially accepted concepts of the nature of human existence and behavior.” (Read that again, slowly, to get the full picture.) A common response is, “There’s more! This isn’t all there is!”
Distress or hell? The great majority of these revelations are experienced as pleasant, even blissful, although adjusting to the new understandings can be extremely difficult. However, for an unknown percentage of individuals, the experiences are marked by fear and even terror, intense emotional and psychological pain, or by desperate anxiety and sometimes guilt. Based on a count in published research studies over a 25-year period, I have estimated that perhaps one in five NDEs is distressing. However, “distressing” covers a good amount of territory.
For many individuals, what is frightening is not what happens but that something happens which is so far out of the norm. “What’s going on? No! I’m not supposed to be up on the ceiling with my body down there on the bed. No! I am not supposed to be shooting into space with who-knows-what going on around me. Absolutely no! I am not supposed to be in these dangerous and out-of-control situations, and because I’m no longer safely on earth, it seems that some of those people must be dead, and I’ve never been so scared in my life, and somebody put me back!”
Another major category of distressing numinous experience involves a sense of being alone in a great emptiness, perhaps out in space, or someplace unfathomably huge—perhaps abandonment in the cosmos—what is called the Void. Sometimes this is accompanied by a message that earthly existence has been a trick or a joke.
In the least frequent cases, the experience itself includes features which the person perceives as evidence of being in hell. There may be a sense of falling, of smelling something decidedly unpleasant, of hearing discordant noises or voices, of seeing redness and believing it to be fire—or even of visualizing fire itself. Alternatively, coldness, a barren landscape, and/or a perception of seeing wandering and featureless people may be understood as hell. Least common among the experiences I have encountered are any mentions of beasts or demonic creatures; the fact that such NDEs are reported on YouTube suggests the power of the event more than the frequency of its occurrence in a population of experiences. An identification of hell may also come later, when a bewildered and frightened experiencer is trying to figure out what that was that happened, and decides it must have been hell.
There’s more! This isn’t all there is!
Negativity? These kinds of experiences range from vaguely disturbing to deeply traumatizing, enough so that reactions like those in PTSD may be commonplace.
The pleasant experiences have commonly been referred to as “positive NDEs,” leading to the label of “negative NDEs” for the unpleasant ones. I have mostly avoided calling them negative because although these events are painful, and often deeply so, when carefully explored and interpreted they almost always turn out to have valuable insights for the person involved. As a glorious light-filled NDE may represent the heights of spiritual experience, these represent the depths; but they are still spiritual experiences, experientially “real encounters with God or gods, or real contact with higher-order realities”—with thanks to Wiki for the phrase—and therefore meaningful.
The principal difficulty is that our first interpretation is almost universally literal, as if the event were a trip to a foreign landscape, which of course leads inevitably to talk of hell or some other punishing afterlife scenario. That interpretation has been ingrained into us by centuries and centuries of Western conviction. We know of no alternative explanation.
Although the actual content of most such experiences bears only a weak resemblance to the doctrines or teachings of the Abrahamic religious traditions, it is at this point that doctrinal afterlife assumptions come into play because they are so deeply embedded in the culture. The weakness I find in that is twofold: first, that people are so often crippled by their fear and guilt about a literal meaning of the NDE as they understand it (punishment, unworthiness, blame, the wrath of God) that their life becomes deformed. Second, a literal assumption of the experience as an afterlife phenomenon precludes our learning anything of value for us while we are alive, here, now, in this place. Meaningfulness gets pushed ahead until after we die. What a waste of experience!
Coming posts will explore this further, along with the ongoing discussion of how to fit or reshape core beliefs with this experiential strangeness. If you are new to this website and blog, you may find it helpful to check out the other articles and information tucked behind the tabs at the top of the window. It’s all quite a discussion, and your comments and questions are welcome.

22 comments
December 3, 2012 at 11:29 pm
Your post is very relevant in regards to something that happened to me only yesterday. It wasn’t an NDE, although I am an NDEr. But it was something that does challenge how I see the world. It wasn’t a bad experience. If I wrote it out, you might not believe it to be true, but you wouldn’t think of it as sounding particularly upsetting.
But I am upset. And so ashamed for having anomalous experiences.
I try to read the literature and keep things in perspective. I know weird things happen to perfectly sane people. But I’m still embarrassed for not being OK with being one of those people who have experiences.
December 6, 2012 at 1:44 pm
Sandy, you have so much company in that discomfort! It’s not easy, being one of the people who knows about the “weird things.” It’s not easy being anywhere out on a fringe when what we want in our hearts is simply to fit in and be unexceptional. (And all those folks who are trying so hard to “get psychic” because they think it will make them feel advanced or special–wow, if they only knew the price!) I’m very glad you’re informed and aware that perspective is possible. My hope, then, is that you’ll find your way to accepting your ok-ness. You know it’s safe here! Sending a hug.
December 6, 2012 at 9:52 pm
Thank you, Nancy.
I’m working very hard on accepting the OK-ness thing. My formal education is in science, and I’m trying to use that as a tool to get me where I need to be. I’m doing experiments to study what’s different about me as an NDEr. I’m even working on papers that I hope to get published in an appropriate journal someday.
But it isn’t easy and I really needed that hug.
December 7, 2012 at 11:34 am
Any time! Bravery is always to be honored.
December 4, 2012 at 4:14 am
Hello,I liked so much Alex’s saying above,It is true .In fact,I have not been a NDE person as far as I know,but I feel so familiar with these experiences and have a good understanding on them,Why ?.After passing Few decades of an accident happend to me,I have been doubtedly focusing on it,after hearing about NDEs. About the accident:
I was about 16 yr.old,in a football match ,right in the beginning of the game I had a hard stroke on my temple,I became dizzy first and was taken out the field,gradually I completely lost my memory so I couldn’t know even my brother and anything around in the world.I was wondering about all objects around, I even forgot God to ask help from . I could absolutely remind nothing but one of the spiritual personality,where I kept asking him for help.When I was taken home,my father asked me , “what happened” ,I didn’t even know him.I went to sleep at that evening and woke up the next morning,and all my memories returned to normal.It has always been a puzzle for me that why I could remember the spiritual person’s name only.Later on up to now it is proved to me ,with no doubt,that he has had a great role in my life in reality and also through some very clear and strange dreams that have affected my personal growth.Sometimes,some strange gist of mind or dreams have made me surprised ,for example, once (about 3 years ago) I saw a view of group of stars next to a brown cloud in a story of the dream.By that time I had never seen such view in any books or in the reality,the next day I went to the book store to by a book,as I was passing the first floor accidentally I had a glance at a small book put on a shelf unusually onward ,as I was passing by it I felt like to comeback and see it,I took it up,it was written in English,” Stars and Planets”, it was about more than 200 pages,I opened it up at random and was shocked,it was about head horse nebula ,I didn’t know anything about this field and hadn’t seen such thing before,I bought it and studied it .Yes I had seen the head horse nebula in my dream!,so I always wish to ask scientists of astronomy to have a more focus on this nebula as may have something to offer for human life ,but unfortunately I have no access to any,if you have please do this favour not for me but perhaps for us all.Please take this request serious.Thank you so much for your patience reading this time taking little part of my story.
December 6, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Isa, your story about finding the horse head nebula in a random book is like so many accounts of things that “just happened” by coincidence or accident or at random. This kind of thing is called a “synchronicity,” when meaningful things come together very unexpectedly and without our conscious intent. What a wonderful experience of synchronicity your nebula is!
I don’t know whether the horse head nebula is believed to have any special importance for humanity as a whole. It certainly has made you pay attention! Does anyone else here have any astronomical insights?
December 4, 2012 at 9:18 am
“…However, for an unknown percentage of individuals, the experiences are marked by fear and even terror…” This so of life in general for many individuals, change is not something that is welcomed as a new departure, but a potentially dangerous situation. Some of us do not like change and would rather hold on to the familiar, no matter how unrewarding. What we are, is what we find waiting for us, in any new situation.
December 6, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Thanks, Brendan. Hard to keep that in mind “in the moment,” too often.
December 5, 2012 at 7:13 am
By the time I had my experience, I had knowledge of one’s individual consciousness surviving the physical death of the body, and I believed in this. I had thrown off and escaped the conceptual confines of traditional Christian religion.
I felt a little puzzled, I was in a different reality, and I had no choice but to go along with the experience, so I did. However, I was a captive of it while it lasted, but even at that, I was still me. Therefore, I went along with it realizing that it was the beginning of it. I heard a voice call me, and I turned back.
These days on TV they’re sensationalizing The ghost / demon thing. I accept that spirits are all around us, and some of them don’t even realize that they’ve vacated their physical bodies. Why be afraid?
We have been brain washed to be afraid of anything that’s not tangibly physical. If I run into a demon when I cross, he she it is going to hear “get out of my face or I’ll kick your ass”. I am, always was, and always will be.
December 6, 2012 at 1:46 pm
December 6, 2012 at 7:06 am
Through a lot of research I finaly found the answer in a book;
The great misconception, at Lulu publishing. It simply answers all ridles of existence.
December 6, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Joe, that’s quite a testimonial! Will look it up.
December 6, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Dear Nancy,
Your point that every distressing event in an NDE is NOT Hell is well taken. In NDEs and other Spiritually Transformative Experiences, we are dealing with a different reality. A personal example is an after-death communication. About two weeks after my father died. he appeared to me in a vivid dream. His appearance did not resemble my favorite pictures of him but as he appeared in his late 50′s which I believe was for him the prime of
his life. He was attired in a suit and wearing his favorite Stetsen hat — not the kind that cowboys wear but the kind that Wall Street bankers do. He came to me and said, “Son, being dead takes some getting used to, but you’ll like it.” This vivid dream was comforting to me, although before the dream I had no doubt that my father was in a good
place.
In the years since that experience, I have often thought about his words, “Being dead takes some getting used to…” Some things readily come to mind, like the often-reported communication via thought process rather than language and the fact that folks often report that everyone can read the minds of others which echoes Jesus’ words, “There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed.” Obviously, there are a lot more differences in this other reality that, “take some getting used to.”
December 7, 2012 at 11:36 am
Thank you, Ken. A wonderful story!
December 8, 2012 at 10:16 am
My father came to me in a vivid full Technicolor dream too. I was in the back yard of a house that I assumed was mine. The back yard went up hill. There were rocks trees and bushes. They seemed untouched, as in a natural un planned order.
I loved my father, but he was an alcoholic, and I could never depend on him. This from an early age saddened me deeply. When I matured, people would say to me, even when you smile, your eyes still look sad. I carried it with me always, locked away in a place that I myself could not reach.
My father stepped out from a large bush. He had no shirt on, and was wearing the wide brimmed straw hat he wore in summer. His eyes in recognition of me were smiling, proud, and totally approving of me. He came walking toward me slightly to my left.
As he approached, he began to become transparent until he disappeared. I was shouting daddy! daddy!, and I felt the sadness come wrenching out of my chest. I came wide awake still feeling the experience. A buried for want of a better description, emotional cyst had been opened, and was draining out. To this day, I’ll always believe that he came back to help me.
December 7, 2012 at 12:29 am
Dear Madam Bush,
Thank you so much for your comment.You are quiet right about synchronicity,I know that well,although I never expect others take my personal experiences and dreams serious ,in the whole,I myself can not be certain about them where there is no any scientific or rational explanation for them,but still I can see something of strange that worth to be paid attention,and it has helped me so much to grow my spirituality and feel respect to human being,all existing ,and even all objects ,in brief this has made me feel united with the universe.I would admit myself to say that for my this vision and my acts I do not ask for incentive or any privileges from others,but I am always thankful to my merciful God.Finally,if you permitted me I would write you some of my strange experiences and dreams on any right occasions in forthcoming contacts. Thank you so much again.
December 11, 2012 at 10:18 pm
I have been reading about NDEs for a lot of years now and you might find Slyvia Browns books interesting. I have had dreams of a lake of fire and I believe that the Lord will seperate the sheep from the goats. If you want to end up somewhere good than be good, if you want to be bad then don’t be suprized when it comes back to you. One friend who worked at a nursing home said that a man cried the hounds were snapping at his heels when he died. My Mom said her Grandmother looked off and looked totally at peace when she died.
February 4, 2013 at 6:00 pm
Hello Nan Bush, very interesting reading on this webpage. I did not have a NDE but have been extremely interested in them and it has actually changed my spirituality. I am much more at ease about life now.
My comment is about something that happened to me in my teen years. I was with friends driving down the highway with a tent trailer in tow. 5 of us and a child in the car, coming back from a camping trip. It was a major 4 lane divided highway and I noticed my alternator light was on. I stopped on the side of the road and had a look. The belt was off and more or less shredded. Myself and my best buddy headed a mile back to an overpass that went to a small town. As we walked across the over pass a stationwagon went by (North American model, I think it was Chrysler) and something when flipping out from under it as it passed us by. I ran up to it and discovered an alternator belt…..exact size and width that we required. I matched it up to the old one I was carrying. Had I not had my buddy with me I don’t think I would have ever mentioned what happened. People would have thought I was making it up. Then, to top it all off, a truck from the other direction came along, exiting to the freeway and picked us up. Drove us to the car and installed the belt for us.
I often think of why this happened. Did it save us from a terrible accident as we headed for the small town on foot? Was a deceased relative helping out from beyond? Did God send me a favour? At any rate, I was grateful and kept it as one of those amazing stories for around the family table.
By the way, I would accept an NDE in a heartbeat. Just to experience the true meaning of love, that everyone talks about from the other side.
February 5, 2013 at 9:48 am
Gregory, it’s just that kind of synchronicity, I am convinced, that jerks us to a stop and makes us say ‘Whoa!’ Maybe that’s its purpose–simply a wake up call that we are to keep paying attention. Something is going on!
February 15, 2013 at 7:40 pm
I’m one of the rare ones who’s had lots of hellish ones. All of them happened when i had out of body experiencescaused by very frequent very heavy periods. I was literally tortured by the christ, the holy spirit, lots of angels and lots of demons. And in the experience just before my hysterectomy jesus christ and the angels warned me that even though i needed the operation i had no right to and that if i did have it i’d pay very dearly indeed and spend eternity in torment in hell
February 17, 2013 at 8:04 am
That’s a lot to handle! How have you dealt with that? (If you’d rather keep your response private, you can email to nanbush12[at]gmail.com.)
April 23, 2013 at 1:05 pm
Isa, is it possible to get any details about your horse head nebula dream, or did you just “see” the nebula?